Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
is wine microwaveable?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I deserve this hangover.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
