I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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