im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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