This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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