I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
