so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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