i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She's the barista slut.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
