Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
