pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
