Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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