Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
