My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My feet surprised me
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