she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
