even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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