apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
