He kissed a someone with a penis
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
