i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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