Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
