Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
