yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
