I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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