i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
