That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
