Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
