In the future we'll all be gay
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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