i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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