I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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