KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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