it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
