I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
