I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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