i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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