So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
