your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
