Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
