Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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