i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
