okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
