Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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