Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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