I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
