Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
