somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
