Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Randomize
