Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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