Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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