I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
