sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
