covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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