I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
